In the battle of ultimate baddies I like to think that all is fair in blood and guts. What we have here are two supernatural and evil killers with a serious craving for blood and pain- a pretty decent match up in my opinion. I must admit that when I was given these two I was immediately thrown for a loop as to who I would end up picking. Both are iconic, powerful, frightening and just plain awesome so how then are we suppose to come to a decision? Fear not, for I will outline some important details about both, weigh some pro and cons and finally give you what I considered to be the answer to end all battles.
First, a little background.
Freddy
Fred Krueger was a originally a janitor, sweeping the floor and all the vile trash of pesky children. He was also an accused child molester held responsible for many of the child disappearances and murders in the town. After the parents failed to see any justice they took matters into their own hands and burned him alive inside his boiler room, resulting in the death and supernatural after life of Fred. His brutal murder apparently gave him the ability to continue to kill children, only this time- in their sleep. The fiery manner of his death caused a pizza like effect to happen on his face, and his weapon of choice quickly became his knife glove. He wears his trademark sweater and fedora while battling the teenagers dreams with his innate sense of sass and one liners.
Pinhead
Pinhead is the lead cenobite in hell- a gang of underworld demons whose mission is to bring pain, suffering and “pleasure” to those condemned. Originally Captain Elliot Spencer, Pinhead became a cenobite after solving the Lament Configuration Box for himself. Clad in a long, black, pleathery jacket and rifled with pins stuck into every inch of his face- Pinhead is one of the most menacing and frightening bad guys to date. Although he does not often directly kill people, he and his cenobite army “harvest” human souls- ripping them apart in an all too painful and imaginable form.
So what does it come down to? Let’s start with who has the upper hand. Freddy is probably the fan favorite because people love him- they can’t get a freakin’ nough of the Fred Meister. He says funny things usually involving swears, and gets people where they are perhaps most vulnerable, in their dreams. His main plan of attack in that regards is much higher than Pinhead’s could ever be. Freddy is capable of getting to pretty much everyone- but Pinhead mostly is restricted to those who solve the puzzle box, and those who are damned to hell. Most of you are probably saying that therefore you don’t have to worry about Pinhead so much since hell doesn’t look to be in the cards for you–but I on the other hand am pretty positive that I’m going to hell and I really would rather spend it with the devil then with Pinhead. Getting ripped apart by chains? No thank you! Plus look at all the cenobites. All those apparent injuries, voice boxes ripped open, needles in the head, chronic fatness? It’s all what they suffered once they arrived in hell. I’d seriously take getting gutted in the tummy with a knife glove over having my face ripped apart any day of the week.
The other major thing you have to look at, is their evolution. Freddy came out swinging in the first Nightmare on Elm Street, keeping his witty banter and incessant hootin n hollerin’ to a minimum. In the sequels however Freddy almost came to represent a parody of himself as his craziness and funny lines became almost too much to handle as time went on. Sure he was still brutally killing people but he also became funny- which in my opinion can sometimes distract him from his overall purpose. Plus it makes him look less frightening.
Pinhead however is a man of refinement. Taking a big step back away from the all too familiar “muted” killers and then of course the all too familiar comedic villains (cough Freddy) Pinhead never seem to become anything less than what he has always been. A strong, stoic, terrifying demon of the underworld with little on his agenda except to bring ultimate pain and suffering. He also has such a classy air to him, like he’d also be a connoisseur of fine wine on the weekend or something.He clearly would not be distracted or dependent on finding just the right thing to say when dueling and that my friends is key.
So what would a battle between Freddy and Pinhead look like and how would it end? If you think about it- although Freddy has the upper hand in appearing in people’s dreams, Pinhead doesn’t dream- so Freddy’s “superpower” is drastically reduced. Therefore it’s going to be more of a battle of pure skill so Freddy will only have his knife glove to defend himself. Pinhead on the other hand- and I’m sure I can have your support behind this will most certainly be able to use all of his resources. I say this, because I’m pretty certain that Freddy belongs in hell. So it becomes immediately clear that in the battle, Pinhead can summon those awful chains, and rip apart every single one of the burns off of Freddy’s face, one by one if he has to. The battle will go as follows, Freddy: *Something funny* Pinhead *Something classy, scary, pointing out that Freddy’s humor won’t save him when his soul gets ripped apart* *Freddy’s soul gets ripped apart* On the plus side of this, once Freddy’s soul gets ripped apart, he’ll be able to cover more ground and appear in multiple peoples dreams at the same time. Excellent!
So all in all my answer here is that there is no question in saying that Pinhead would win the battle. Freddy has evolved into a joke, and his knife skills really are only a concern to those who are sleeping. He would be no match for Pinhead and Pinhead would see right through Freddy’s comical mask and really get him where he hurts. Pinhead is a man of taste, of class and of good looks (let’s face it Pinhead is oddly dreamy) and when you make your decision, let it be one that truly matters.
Vote on the poll to your right and tell us who you think would win! The winner of the poll will have all their DVDs marked down 13% in the coming week. So get voting!
Andre Dumas
