Thursday, September 09, 2010 04:00

Archive for the ‘G’ Category

THE GINGERDEAD MAN

Sunday, February 7th, 2010

2005 Shoot Productions/Full Moon Entertainment

    Serial killer Millard Findlemeyer (Gary Busey) has been executed for killing most of Sarah’s (Robin Sydney) family. She testified against him in court, but he swears revenge and comes back as a killer gingerbread man bent on murdering her and all that stand in his way.

    This film is so bad and cheesy it’s hard to believe it ever got made. Everything is just so contrived and awful that it makes you feel kind of sorry for the people in it. Did they know they were going to be acting opposite a gingerbread man puppet? I have to admit though, it is kind of fun to watch because of the fact that it’s such a train wreck of a film. It really highlights how far in quality Full Moon movies have fallen and how crazy Gary Busey is.

    Silvia St. Croix and August White wrote the screenplay for this and I have got to give them some credit for having an imagination. Then again they were probably smoking something when they decided that a horror film about a serial killer possessed gingerbread man would turn out really well. There are so many things that don’t make sense in this film that it would take me the rest of the year to list them all. I would like to mention the nasty fact that Sarah allows the gingerbread dough to go into the mixer even after Brick (Jonathan Chase) cuts himself and gets a bunch of blood in it. Okay, they had to think of a way to get the gingerbread man to come to life, but that it beyond gross! Then there is the part in which they close the walk in fridge door while the gingerbread man is pigging out, and somehow he escapes. How the hell does that happen? Lastly, there is a scene in which Sarah and Amos (Ryan Locke) are making out while poor Julia (Daniela Melgoza) is lying on the floor covered in frosting and going into shock! I know that while a friend is dying there is nothing better than wanting to make out, let me tell you! There is some really choice dialogue in this such as ‘Ever try a lady finger?’ while the gingerbread man cuts a chick’s finger off. Also, ‘It sure ain’t the Pillsbury dough boy!’ is pretty damn funny!

    The Gingerdead Man is directed by Charles Band with no great skill or real originality. Gone are his glory days of Subspecies, Castle Freak and Puppet Master. It pretty much looks like the same quality as a bad Syfy original film if that tells you anything. One of the huge problems with the production is that the gingerbread man is a damn hand puppet. That’s right, he’s a hand puppet! His transformation from a baked good to a a harbinger of death is pretty badly done with just some red lighting and pulsating dough to tell us what is going on. I don’t know if Dance thinks that we are going to be scared by this, but my goodness it looks so cheesy that Bloofer Lady can’t help but laugh when she watches it! During one part of the film the electricity is supposed to be off in the whole building, but he cuts to an outside shot of it and the lights are on. It’s bad acts of editing and continuity like that which really help to bring this film down.

    Have you ever once in your life thought that Gary Bussey would make a good serial killer who turns into a gingerbread man? I sure didn’t! He must have been on meds when he agreed to be in this because I can’t come up with another explanation than that as to why he is in this film. Technically he is only in the first ten minutes of the film, shooting up a diner, and then he voices the gingerbread man through the rest of it. I have to say that his laughter is quite disturbing and watching a hand puppet with his voice coming out of it is quite something to see! This film is supposed to take place in Waco Texas but the accents that the actors try to do are so bad that you wouldn’t know it! Once in a while one of them will throw out a twang or two and then they sound like they are in California once again. I really can’t say anything positive about their performances, but then again they poor things didn’t write this film. I wonder if they ever tell people that they are in this?

    Bloofer Lady thinks that The Gingerdead Man is pretty darn awful, and yet like a dead body under a sheet she finds herself compelled to look at it. Watch it for the laughs, but be warned you may never look at gingerbread men the same way ever again!

You can buy The Gingerdead Man here: Horror Movie Empire

Bloofer Lady
Horror Crypt

THE GORGON

Monday, January 11th, 2010

1964 A Hammer Production

An ancient monster named Megaera (Prudence Hyman) is terrorizing the gorgon 1village of Vandorf and turning its citizens into stone. Will the truth of her identity be found out in time by Paul(Richard Paco) and Professor Meister(Christopher Lee) before anybody else falls victim to her vicious gaze?

This, in my opinion, falls into the list of the better horror films made by Hammer, with the only weak point being the fact that it is very obvious who Megaera is almost right from the start of the film. I’m not going to say who it is in this review as to not spoil the fun, but you should have no issues in guessing. The production is top notch, the score is unsettling and the screenplay itself is well written. Add the great direction of Terence Fisher to the mix and you have a very well done film.

The screenplay of The Gorgon, which is by John Gilling, is quite good with the only issue being that of how easy it is to identify Megaera. However, I really can’t see how he could have worked around that since he would have had to include a lot more female characters in order to keep it such a secret from the audience. Those characters wouldn’t have been as fleshed out or believable so don’t hold any of the aforementioned against him. There aregorgon some things that I am quite curious about, such as how did Megaera get to the Germanic village of Vandorf, but that won’t bother you at all once you become enveloped into the story. Bloofer Lady is of the curious sort if you haven’t figured that out already. The ending is pretty tragic and not very happy, which I actually enjoy. Not every horror film should end on an up note, and this ending in particular wraps everything up pretty tightly; you don’t feel cheated in any way once you get to it. Gilling also wrote the screenplays for the Hammer films The Mummy’s Shroud and The Pirates Of Blood River among others.

Terence Fisher does a really brilliant job directing this, as he does with every Hammer film. Fisher uses almost no super tight shots in this entire film. Rather than use a lot of dramatic angles and shots he lets the drama of the story tell itself. One of the only tight shots in this movie is when Megaera stares into a certain character’s face; it makes the scene that much more horrific. If he would have used more shots like that I don’t feel that the gorgon castlemovie would be as dramatic as it is. One of my favorite scenes in the film is when Professor Heitz (Michael Goodliffe) goes into the darkened and abandoned Castle Borski in search of a mysterious voice that he hears. The camera follows his journey though piles of dead leaves and shadows at a distance allowing us to take in what he does and feel the dread and atmosphere of the place that much better. I really feel that Fisher was one of the best horror directors to ever live. and is finally getting the recognition that he so deserved while he was still alive. He also directed Hammer’s Horror Of Dracula, The Mummy and The Curse Of Frankenstein among many others. In my opinion he sure as hell directed films more skillfully than a lot of the hacks who call themselves horror film directors these days.

The acting in this is very top notch. Peter Cushing is excellent as always as Dr. Namaroff; he puts his all into his role as a man who is trying to guard the identity of Megeara. Lee is very blustery as Professor Meister and I really enjoy seeing him in this because he uses his physical presence to intimidate the other characters into giving him what he wants. I mean the guy is tall, wouldn’t you let him have his way? Carla is played by Barbara Shelley in agorgon 2 very innocent way, which is how she should be portrayed. If Carla was seductive or menacing then the character wouldn’t have worked at all. I love the fact that there are two different actresses actually playing Megeara. I think this idea works way better than if they put a ton of make-up on one actress to try to make her appear horrific. There are no sex kittens in this particular Hammer film so look elsewhere for the cleavage shots because you won’t find any here.

Bloofer lady really likes The Gorgon and thinks that you should seek it out and watch it. Not only is a great Hammer film it’s an example of the fact than an effective horror film does not need buckets of blood to work.

Bloofer Lady

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