Horror Movie Empire.com Reviews

2002 Silver Sphere

    Elvis (Bruce Campbell) is still alive and in living in the Mud Creek Shady Rest Home in Texas, constantly thinking about his past and what could have been. That is until Bubba Ho-tep (Bob Ivy) comes back to live and threatens to destroy the sanctity of his home. Together with his friend named Jack Kennedy (Ossie Davis) they must confront this evil before it’s too late!

    This is one of the most funny horror films I have ever seen! Just the whole idea of Elvis not having ‘left’ the building is more than enough for me to love this movie. Not only is the screenplay really well written and hysterical the actors do such a great job that I can cheer them on without feeling the least bit guilty about it. Make no mistake Bubba Ho-tep rocks!

    The screenplay for this is written by Don Coscarelli, and it is based upon a short story by Joe R. Lansdale. I love the idea of Elvis not being dead at all, but of living in a nursing home suffering from the aftereffects of a broken hip which he receives while performing as an Elvis impersonator at a concert. Through all of the dialogue that Elvis says throughout the film about his past regrets you really feel sorry for the guy and hope that he doesn’t get killed by the evil mummy. On top of that there is his friend down the hall who thinks he’s Jack Kennedy even though he is African American. After a while you tend to believe his story too, so this film accomplishes what a lot of more recent horror films haven’t; the lead characters are actually likable. Besides the well written characters the dialogue is funny as hell! Since I live in the South I found the scenes in which they call the evil attacking scarabs ‘big bitch cockroaches’ hysterical! Elvis talking about his erection problems is something I thought I would never see the likes of, but by by golly it’s in this film as well! You will never think of The King’s penis in the same way ever again!

    Bubba Ho-tep is directed by Don Coscarelli, and I really like the look of it a lot. Most of it takes place inside a nursing home and the look of it is sufficient enough to make you believe that you are inside a really dreary place. Everything has kind of a sickly yellow look to it that really drums into you that people are there to die, by natural causes or otherwise! I think my favorite scene in this whole film is when Bubba Ho-tep is shambling slowly down the nursing home hallway at night. The bulbs go out one by one as he passes them and a strange strobe type light turns on behind him. As he confronts Elvis face to face he transfers all of his memories to him and they are very fast past shots maybe only lasting a few seconds a piece. It’s like he is unloading a slide show of his demise, and curse, and it really works well! Not only does it show us why Bubba Ho-tep is in the situation that he’s in it also makes for some interesting camerawork. I’m going to admit that the very last scene confuses me a tiny bit, but if I say anything more than that I will give it away. Coscarelli also directed and wrote the Phantasm series of films and Beastmaster.

    I really think Elvis is one of the best characters that Bruce Campbell has ever played. Not only does he look like Elvis in this but he has his movements and voice inflections down to such a degree that it isn’t hard to believe that he could be Elvis. Somebody do some research into that and get back to me! Ossie Davis is really great as Jack, and he comes across as a regal yet paranoid man. Well, considering the conspiracy theories surround the death of Jack Kennedy this seems like a very plausible way in which to play him! Other than those two all of the other roles are rather small. However, I really do like the nurse who is played by Ella Joyce. It’s priceless seeing the look on her face when Elvis propositions her, trust me!

     Bloofer Lady has a lot a fun while watching this film and knows that you will as well! How often do you get to see Elvis battle a mummy? Why never of course, so see this as soon as you can!

You can buy Bubba Ho-tep at Horror Horror Movie Empire.

Bloofer Lady
Horror Crypt

Beyond the Door is perhaps an early rendition of an Aslyum masterpiece. By that I mean that the movie is essentially an exact movie we’ve seen before but one that attempts to do things bigger and bolder- usually ending in a dismal failure. Beyond the Door is the evil stepsister to The Exorcist and the 2nd cousin of Rosemary’s Baby- but it’s not a complete failure. Although it’s not the most well done film, there are still a fair amount of unsettling scenes and images that may have been “inspired” by the Excorcist but do enough to set it apart from everyone’s favorite pea soup vomiting possession movie.

Juliet Mills (sister of Hayley Mills) plays Jessica- a mother to two odd children and wife to one sassy mustachioed man (Gabriele Lavia). Once she finds out she is pregnant with her third child- things start to go strangely wrong. After vomiting up what seems like galloons of blood, Jessica believes that the child growing inside of her is trying to kill her. Things get even weirder when Jessica’s old beau, Dimitri (Richard Johnson) comes to her aid and we find that he is in cahoots with the Devil. The plan being that the Devil will possess Jessica and then Dimitri will steal the baby- therefore giving Dimitri another chance at life (he was suppose to die in a car accident that we see at the film’s beginning).

So why don’t we examine just what makes this movie so similar to The Exorcist and Rosemary’s Baby shall we? The obvious fact being that our main character is possessed. Since Jessica is an adult- and obscene moments of swearing are just not as effective- the swearing is taken care of by Jessica’s 10 year old daughter. She’s not possessed she just has a potty mouth! Now the pea soup vomiting? Well- it may not be as green (I’d call it more of a forest hue in this film) the vomit is probably 20 times more promiment in Beyond the Door. Like I said- it has to do things bigger and bolder! Jessica vomits endless amounts of bile and chunky goodness then licks it all off of her face in glorious satisfaction. Mmm Mmm Mmm! Speaking of Pea Soup however- Jessica’s son has a habit of only drinking Campbell’s Pea Soup through a straw. A kind tribute or a nasty poke? You decide. We  also get all the typical possessed things- levitation, heads spinning, and creepy demon vocal tones- no crucifixes in the va-jay though! Still- there is plenty to compare however.

Now as for the Rosemary’s Baby nod- our main character like Rosemary, is impregnated by the Devil himself. She is not raped however and I’m sort of unsure how the baby got there in the first place. I’m guessing Satan pulled the ol’ Immaculate Conception gag. The big difference however is that Jessica’s husband is not to blame for the deal- rather we look at a man who has long since been absent. There certaintly aren’t as many nods to Rosemary’s Baby but still the movie takes a few pointers from the classic.

Despite the obvious ripped off elements, I did find there to be quite a bit of startling moments in Beyond the Door. The scene where Jessica is wandering aimlessly in the city and zones out in front of a banana peel on the street for instance. After a few moments of spacing out, Jessica begins walking and picks up the banana peel to eat on the way home. The movement seemed so natural and so terrifying at the same time. It was kind of like watching a child pick something gross off the floor and suddenly eat it. You want to call out “NOOO!” but you are caught so off guard, the moment escapes you.

Then there’s the scene where Jessica’s eyes go completely bonkers. Her right eye moves around quite spastically, while her left eye remains stationary. It was such a horrible looking image- and I”m not entirely convinced that it was done with the aid of contacts- that’s how startling and natural it really looked. Finally- there is a certain scene that depicts dolls standing up and walking very eerily. I hate when dolls move by themselves (as should most people) so that scene in particular caused some serious shaking in my boots.

Then there are of course some not as well done scenes. For starters, there are far too many scenes of characters walking with a groovy soundtrack to keep them company. It gave the film a Blaxploitation feel and the scenes went on for far too long. I’d understand such a long scene if there was something to be gained- or some reflection happening inside of the character’s head–but there was none! In fact there are a lot of scenes like this- that really use some heavy editing and I would wager that it could cut the movie down by almost 20 minutes.

A few of the effects- while poorly done, like Jessica floating/walking on air are still creepy but this is possibly due to the poor quality of the effects. The dubbing is as usual in Italian films- horrible- and the motivation for the husband to trust Dimitri seems flawed. Juliet Mills however did a swell job of pretending to enjoy eating bile. Sure there were a lot of predictable “possessed moments” but I thought Mills took Jessica’s/Satan to new and surprising levels. Sure nothing can top Linda Blair- but Juliet Mills gave it her best.

While majorly flawed, Beyond the Door does contain a few genuine moments of fear. The ending seemed rushed, and the final shot was extremely confusing- but if you can get past the bad dubbing, and confusing story line- you may find an often overlooked piece of The Exorcist’s long lost family. Don’t watch it expecting to be wowed- rather watch it hoping to be pleasantly surprised.

Andre Dumas

The Horror Digest

Buy Beyond the Door at Horror Movie Empire

1972 American International Production

    Blacula (William Marshall) is unleashed upon Los Angeles through the greedy actions of two antique dealers. He finds Tina (Venetta McGee), the reincarnation of his long dead wife Luva, and will do anything to possess her. Will the truth about him be found out in time to save Tina and keep Los Angeles free of the undead?

    This movie is cheesy good fun, make no mistake about it. Parts of it will have you laughing out loud while the strong performance by William Marshall will have you rooting for Blacula in his flight form the ‘good guys’. Bloofer Lady really loves this film because of the bridge that exists between the great acting of William Marshal and the politically incorrectness of the screenplay. That very fact makes me want to watch this film over and over again, always wondering how the hell they roped Marshall into this.

    The screenplay for Blacula is by Raymond Koenig and Joan Torres and it pretty much runs along the lines of other Blaxploitation flicks. Blacula is doomed to be cursed as a vampire by Dracula (Charles Macaulay) for daring to question the correctness of slavery. In other words he is put down by ‘The Man’ for not staying in his proverbial place deemed suitable by society. This screenplay also has the whole ‘reincarnation of a long lost love’ plot common with other vampire films. So I guess you could say that Blacula is a blaxploitation horror film, because it could so easily fall into either category. There are parts of this screenplay that are so over the top and politically incorrect that I’m not even going to attempt to quote all of the outrageous phrases that are said in it. I might hurt some delicate constitutions if I do that! Suffice it to say that there is a stereotypical gay couple, a female taxi driver with plenty of attitude, and a morgue attendant with a hook for a hand.

    William Marshall is obviously the star of Blacula and as a trained Shakespearean actor he really gives it his all in this. In fact his performance reminds me  of Peter Cushing’s work  a bit because he is so sincere in this role. When Blacula is dealing with a tragic situation you can really see the pain in his face, and it is for this very reason that it’s so easy to want to root for the character. With Marshall’s performance you can’t help but feel sorry for him. Playing the dual roles of Luva and Tina, Venetta McGee does an okay job. The character seems kind of lifeless, no pun intended. There are scenes in which she should be freaking the hell out but she just kind of stands there with this odd look on her face. The director could have had her do that so perhaps the fault shouldn’t be entirely placed in her lap. Thalmus Rasulala plays the hero of the day Dr. Thomas and he’s downright creepy when he winks. No really, when you watch the club scene you will know what I mean.

    Blacula is directed by William Crain and he does an okay job. Parts of this film look like a tv movie of the week because of some of the camera shake that happens during some of the scenes. That’s part of the charm of this film though, because if it was perfect looking it wouldn’t be so much fun! My favorite scene in this entire film is the one in which the taxi cab driver bursts out of some double doors and runs in slow motion towards the camera while screaming and looking like she has stuck her finger in a light socket! It makes me crack up every single time I see it so make sure you pay attention when you get to that part, you won’t be disappointed! The makeup on Blacula’s bevy of vampire babes is pretty darn bad and very green, plus all of the vampire teeth in this movie make the actors look like rabid bunnies, so if you are looking for excellent special effects you won’t find them here. Actually, I am semi-impressed with the bat scenes because they  look pretty well done so I retract my previous statement. 

    Bloofer Lady loves Blacula because it is the sum of its many cheesy parts. It is an excellent example of a Blaxploitation film that happens to include a bad ass vampire wanting the love of his life back at any cost.

You can buy Blacula here: Horror Movie Empire

Bloofer Lady
Horror Crypt

1992 Wingnut Films Production

    Lionel (Timothy Balme) is living under the thumb of his controlling mother Vera (Elizabeth Moody) until she accidentally turns into a zombie. Soon things get out of control and Lionel is hiding a group of them in his basement. Is he going to take care of his zombie infestation before they become out of control or will Wellington turn into undead central?

    Dead Alive is Bloofer Lady’s favorite Peter Jackson film and is one of the best horror comedies ever made. The reason I love this film so much is its ability to combine obscene amounts of gore with hysterical situations. Not many films have the ability to make me laugh like this one does. I mean where else can you watch a zombie crash its head through a light bulb and become an instant zombie lamp? Not many I bet!

    The screenplay is by Peter Jackson, Fran Walsh and Stephen Sinclair. It takes place in 1957 Wellington and is really an original take on the whole zombie mythos. The contagion isn’t started by a chemical accident or the like, instead a ‘rat monkey’ from Sumatra bites somebody and then the whole avalanche of zombification starts from there. There are a ton of very funny and effective scenes in this film, so many that there is no way I have the space or time to list them all. My personal favorites tend to center around the dinner table for some reason. Maybe they make me subliminally hungry or something? The first is when Vera, clearly infected and not looking too chipper, has some puss from the open bite on her arm plop out into the custard of a visitor who then eats it without knowing. It’s very disgusting but funny because of the whole absurdity of the situation. How often do you eat zombie puss? Why never of course! The other dining table scene involves a very horny zombie reverend who starts making out with a zombie nurse. Who knew that zombies could get it on? I sure as hell didn’t until I watched this film! The dialogue is really funny as well and includes such lines as ‘Your mother ate my dog!’ and ‘I kick arse for the Lord!’.

    Dead Alive is directed by Peter Jackson, of course, and it really shows off his ability to be able to make bizarre situations seem possible. Take for instance the infamous lawnmower scene in which Lionel literally mows down a room full of zombies. Now, a normal person wouldn’t think of picking up a lawnmower and chopping zombies to bits, but for some reason it seems perfectly acceptable for Lionel to be doing so. He films it partially from the perspective of the mower itself which gives us a look at the zombies facing impending doom. Interesting fact to know about this scene is that it is supposedly the bloodiest, in terms of the volume of blood used, ever made. There are a lot of techniques that Jackson uses in this film; speed up film, shots that pan up close when something interesting happens, and even a guy dressed up as the zombie baby causing havoc in a city park. The last example is a preview of the same exact technique that he used to shoot some of the Hobbit scenes in his Lord Of The Rings trilogy. There are a lot of really creepy yet funny effects in this, one of my favorites being the organs and intestines of the zombie greaser that keeps going after Lionel. They are like the Terminator of body organs because they just won’t stop! The poor things even beg for their lives, no really they do! How adorable yet twisted is that? A whole lot I would say! Watching this movie really makes me wish that Jackson would stay away from the dramas that he seems to be drifting towards being involved in and get back to his horror roots, because this type of movie fits his style of movie making best in my opinion.

    My favorite actor in this movie is Elizabeth Moody who plays Lionel’s evil mother Vera. She comes across as so vile and so demanding that it makes you glad that she isn’t your own mother believe me! She was also in heavenly Creatures and Fellowship Of The Rings and died very recently which is a damn shame! Timothy Balme is really great as the oppressed Lionel and he totally comes across as the nerdy mamma’s boy that he is supposed to be. He totally looks the part and the evolution of his character from depressed son to heroic zombie killer is very believable. If a totally perfect looking guy had been cast in the role instead I don’t think it would work as well. There is something to be said about actors who actually look like ‘characters’ themselves. Everybody else does their job really well, and I can honestly say that there isn’t a poor performance in this whole film. Usually I nitpick about somebody, but those that play the kung fu kicking reverend, greedy animal handler, and romantic love interest all fit their roles perfectly.

    If you have never seen this film you are missing out on one hell of a zombie film, because not only is a roliccing good time it’s also a great example of a Peter Jackson film. Bloofer Lady waants all of you to see this because after you do you will never look at lawnmowers the same way again, promise!

You can buy Dead Alive here: Horror Movie Empire

Bloofer Lady
Horror Crypt