Horror Movie Empire.com Reviews

1984 C.H.U.D. Productions

    Cannibalistic humanoid underground dwellers are killing New York’s home less population that live in the sewers. Will these creatures be stopped in time or will they be allowed to craw out of the dark and kill everybody in their path?

    Bloofer Lady really likes this film because is is beyond fun and cheesy! Sure, it has its issues but it really isn’t that bad of a horror film considering that it came out of the 1980’s. The acting isn’t half bad and the creatures look kind of cool, so I really feel that it’s well worth watching.

    Parnell Hall wrote the screenplay for this and it is kind of a throwback to the creature films of the 1950’s. Humans are turned into subterranean monsters because of the carelessness of the government. That theme could have been lifted right out of Them, but what makes this film cheesy fun is how earnestly the characters are written. You have A.J. (Daniel Stern), a soup kitchen owner, who tells various people throughout the film that something evil is happening to his regular customers. Nobody believes the poor guy through at least half the film until everybody else slowly discovers the truth. It’s like he’s some sort of 1960’s activist searching for social justice. Then there is Captain Bosch (Christopher Curry), whose wife goes missing in the beginning in the film and he tries to fight his superiors to take action against what is happening. So basically what you have here are the little guys fighting against ‘the system’ to get things done.There is one huge thing that kind of bothers me though. Why are the creatures all of a sudden appearing? According to the end of the film they should have been around far longer than that.

    This is directed by Douglas Cheek and technically it really isn’ that great looking. There are some really bad transitions that don’t make muchsense, and quite often it looks very much like a TV movie of the week. A really great and cheesy scene though is when we are shown some of the monsters standing around in some radioactive green goo looking like they are worshipping something or other. Perhaps the goo itself? Who knows! What does look really cool in this film are the creatures. Okay, I hear you saying ‘But Bloofer Lady they look terrible!’. I think that the fact that they look horribly bad fits into the rest of the film. They have these eyes that shine as bright as headlights and when they are cut open this really bright glowing green stuff comes out of them. The effects in this aren’t really bad at all and when Lauren (Kim Geist) gets splashed all over with blood from the drain in the shower I’ll admit that it grossed me out.

    All of the main actors in this aren’t too bad. The only performance that really confuses me somewhat is that of John Heard, who plays the slightly bratty photographer George Cooper. I really don’t know whether to like him or hate him most of the time. Daniel Stern, who plays A.J., is quite likable and it is really easy to believe that the character cares deeply about what is going on around him. He’s a goofy looking guy, which helps greatly because I can’t imagine a really good looking guy in this role! Another standout is Christopher Curry who plays Captain Borsch. His character goes through more than any other in the film so his performance is a bit more complex. I actually spotted John Goodman in this! He plays one of the doomed cops that is eating in the diner.

    Bloofer Lady likes C.H.U.D because of the fact that it’s a nice and cheesy 80’s monster film. It’s quite fun and won’t make you think too deeply.

    You can buy C.H.U.D. at Horror Movie Empire.

Bloofer Lady
Horror Crypt

If you want to know what having a cat in your brain is like- just watch Lucio Fulci’s A Cat In the Brain. Sure it sounds simple enough but I’m telling you- my head is hurting like crazy- and by the way I dare you not to squirm as that cat puppet is tearing apart the brain in the beginning. Here we have our first instance of the self aware type of horror movie- a precursor to movies like Wes Craven’s New Nightmare and Scream- the main difference being, that Fulci puts himself front and center of all the action–the movie is about him after all. An interesting and intriguing concept- and although it lacks in some significant areas- the gore-o-meter is certainly not one of them.

I can relate in many ways to the tortured mind of Lucio Fulci. In the early days of Nintendo 64, I stayed up all night trying to beat “Diddy Kong Racing”. When I tried to close my eyes, all I could see were little go-karts filled with furry jungle friends vying for first place! No matter what I did I could not shake those images from my mind. Fulci on the other hand probably has much bigger demons to fry since when he closes his eyes he can only see gruesome murders, and recreations of his very own gory movies. Due to this extreme, and how it affects his daily life, Fulci seeks the help of psychiatrist- who in actuality is the true murderer. What ensues are image upon image of gore gore and more gore. Some we’ve seen in previous Fulci films, and some new. Plus there are enough boobs, and awkward sexual situations to keep the world entertained for at least a few days.

Since I’m spoiled by the keenly artistic eye of Dario Argento- I can never fully commit to a Fulci film- which I’m assuming is only a problem that I personally have since most people get a raging hard on when Fulci’s name is uttered. I honestly believe however that he is the less talented brother of Argento. The Friday the 13th to A Nightmare on Elm Street. I love gore- when it has a point and when it’s done beautifully. Bad acting, bad dubbing and bad story lines are excusable when the film is so artistically beautiful- but with Fulci- the beauty is lacking- and that is where my dissatisfaction lies. And this is not to say I don’t think Fulci makes great movies- because he does. I just don’t seem to love them the same way that everyone else does!

A Cat in the Brain is a strange movie for me to talk about, because I’d be lying if I didn’t tell you how uncomfortable I was throughout the entire thing. Seeing cute little Lucio Fulci- lick his lips and give “dirty” direction to his Nazi actor was disturbing. And seeing him “viewing” the Nazi orgy scene was even worse! Is he really like that? I hope not. He looks like the cute little old man next door- he can’t be involved with tramps!

There quite a few entertaining bits of gore however that even I could enjoy. Although for me the gore becomes less about awesomeness then it does about logic. Why are heads popping off so easily??!I’d like to think that even my scrawny neck could withhold the force of a wooden chest closing on it. But I can’t get picky because the gore isn’t entirely meant to be taken too seriously. What I found to be the funniest however was that some of the best gore in the movie- were scenes from previous Fulci films! Which isn’t necessarily a bad thing since all Fulci seems to be good Fulci in this case. I guess I just wish A Cat in the Brain didn’t rely entirely upon things that have already been created ya know?

It’s still a pretty entertaining movie- even with the atrocious ending of lameness. I won’t spoil anything but just be forewarned that it’s the worst. So all in all- a really intriguing idea, not executed in the best way but still intriguing nonetheless. I’m sure many people often toy with the idea of horror movie directors and creators having sick minds due to the subject matter of their films- so A Cat in the Brain is right up that alley. I guess I just wish it was done a bit better. There’s something lacking- but like I said, not in the gore department! Fulci isn’t for everyone- but I’m confident in saying that he’ll always have a special spot reserved in any gore hound’s heart.

Andre Dumas

The Horror Digest

Buy A Cat in the Brain at Horror Movie Empire

2000 Dead Alive Productions

People are being brutally killed in a baseball stadium and there is no escape. Will the killer strike out or will he murder every last one of his chosen victims.

This has got to be one of the worst independent horror films I have ever seen. There are just so many things wrong with it that it boggles my mind how it got made. I understand that small film makers have to work under budget constraints and the like but that is no excuse for how this film turned out! From the editing to the screenplay everything screams rotten cheese.

When I went to the IMBD page for this film I was puzzled to see that there is no writing credit for this film. Even more of a mystery is the fact that the writing credit is even missing from the the film itself. In fact I looked all over the place for a writer listed for this film and I couldn’t find one! Was the person who wrote this that embarrassed? Well, I can quite honestly say that I don’t really blame them one bit! The plot itself isn’t bad, a guy dressed like a catcher goes around a baseball stadium at night and murders people, but the dialogue is so laughably funny that I can’t take this film seriously in any shape or form. When David’s (David Heavener) girlfriend dumps him after a game she says ‘Game’s over now!’. That has to be the most funny line in the whole film, but I bet they didn’t mean it to be! There’s a lot of things that don’t make sense in The Catcher, such as why doesn’t anybody even attempt to call the cops after the killings start. Then there is the problem of the timeline of the events in the film. It is written in such a way that it is very easy to get confused by what the hell is going on. It’s like the writer’s brain has a bad case of ADD and he can’t decide in what direction the film should take.

The Cather is directed by Guy Crawford and Yvette Hoffman and it is filmed in such a way that it makes you think that the two just graduated, or maybe even flunked, out of film school. The action scenes are very awkwardly shot and the transitions between many of them are just plain bad. There is a scene near the beginning of the film in which they show David taking a shower and then cut to Terry (Monique Parent) walking around the stadium. The two things have absolutely nothing to do with one another so it makes for a very disjointed couple of minutes. The editing is also very bad. There are several parts of the film that confused me because the continuity of the film seemed really messed up. That is partially due to the script, but the constant jumping around from one scene to another doesn’t help a bit. The one thing that makes me crack up the most is the bad sound effects used through the whole thing, especially when the killer hits somebody with his bat. It sounds like he’s hitting a baseball instead of human flesh. There is just one scene that is directed with any amount of skill and that is the one in witch a male victim gets raped up the ass with the handle of a baseball bat. I totally thought that the killer was merely screwing him, but when he threw down the bat there was blood all over the handle of it. That made me wince quite a bit let me tell ya!

Apparently Joe Estevez, who plays the father/umpire, is Martin Sheen’s brother and he’s in this. Doesn’t mean he’s good at all, trust me! His constant shouting and over acting make me want to tell him to shut up and go back to acting class. Apparently he has been in a ton of independent horror films, so this probably isn’t the only total bomb he has been in. All of the actors in this seem very uncomfortable in one fashion or another, especially the guy who plays the rape victim. But can you really blame him?

The only thing that this film has going for it are the special effects, which are surprisingly not that bad at all. I am especially impressed with how a victim is killed by being hit to death with fast baseballs coming out of a throwing machine. One of the balls ends up in the victim’s mouth and the gore on his face looks pretty darn realistic. To be quite honest I have been trying to think of other positive things to say about this film but I am at a loss for words.

The Catcher is a pretty terrible independent horror film. The only way it can be made absolutely tolerable is if you make a drinking game out of it. Slam a shot of vodka every time you see a baseball and maybe you’ll get lucky and be wasted by the ending.

You can buy The Catcher Here: Horror Movie Empire

Bloofer Lady
Horror Crypt